At The Steakhouse, My Cousin Learned What Close Family Costs-hihehu

The chair moved before I did.

My cousin Brandon hit my shoulder with his own and shoved me a full step away from the place card that had my name on it.

“This seat’s for close family,” he said.

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He said it loud enough for the table to hear, but soft enough to pretend he had not meant anything by it if anyone called him out.

That was Brandon’s gift.

He could make cruelty sound like a seating arrangement.

The legs of the chair screamed across the polished floor, and for one second, the whole steakhouse seemed to tighten around the noise.

Butter and seared steak hung in the air.

A thread of wood smoke drifted from the open kitchen.

Somewhere behind me, a glass clinked against another glass, bright and delicate, like the room had manners my family never learned.

I stood with my hand still on the chair back, feeling the smooth curve of the wood under my palm.

I was thirty-six years old.

I had a good job, my own apartment, my own bills, my own watch on my wrist, bought with money nobody at that table had helped me earn.

Still, when Brandon smiled at me, I was twelve again.

I was back in Aunt Denise’s kitchen, staring at yellow linoleum while he blocked the doorway and stretched my name into something ugly.

Robert.

Robot.

Rrrr-bert.

My mother was halfway down the long table, tucked between Aunt Denise and Uncle Gary like somebody who had already learned the safest place in a family fight was wherever she could disappear.

She looked at me and gave the smallest shake of her head.

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