Her Husband Said A Crib Was Too Expensive. Then The Transfer Hit-kimochi

The night I found out about Megan, the rain was hitting our Chicago apartment windows hard enough to blur the streetlights.

I was seven months pregnant, sitting sideways on the couch because there was no comfortable way left to sit.

My ankles ached.

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My back ached.

Even the skin around my ribs felt too tight, like my daughter was stretching against every secret in the room.

On the coffee table, a mug of chamomile tea had gone cold beside a stack of baby coupons I had clipped from the Sunday paper.

Daniel had laughed at those coupons earlier that week.

Not meanly, exactly.

That was the worst part about him.

He rarely sounded cruel at first.

He sounded tired, reasonable, wounded by how unreasonable I was being.

“We have to prioritize,” he had said, standing in the doorway while I compared crib prices on my laptop.

I had asked for a safe crib.

Not a designer nursery.

Not a painted mural.

Not a rocking chair that cost more than our rent.

Just a crib with rails that locked properly and a mattress that did not sag in the middle.

Daniel rubbed his face and said, “Olivia, there isn’t enough money right now.”

So I believed him.

I believed him because I had been trained by marriage to hear his stress before my own fear.

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