My Sister Used My Card For Iceland, Then Returned To A Shut Door-Teptep

My mother always made tea when she wanted me to agree to something.

Not because tea solved anything, but because it gave her hands something respectable to do while she asked for the unreasonable.

That evening, the kitchen smelled of washing-up water, leftover chicken, and the faint steam of a kettle that had already clicked off.

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Rain tapped softly against the back window.

My sleeves were pushed to my elbows, my hands were wet, and I had one palm pressed to the pedal bin because the lid would not shut properly.

Mum sat at the small table with her mug in front of her, stirring and stirring, though she had put no sugar in it.

The spoon made a neat little circle of sound.

It was the sound of someone pretending a conversation was ordinary.

“If your sister needs peace, let her pay for it with her money, Mum, not with my life,” I said.

I had not planned to say it like that.

I had planned to be calmer, neater, more adult about it.

But there are sentences that come out of you after years of swallowing all the earlier ones.

Mum’s name was Elvira, though everyone called her Ellie when she wanted sympathy and Elvira when a bill arrived.

She did not flinch.

She did not even lift the mug.

“Don’t be dramatic, Casandra,” she said.

That was her favourite word for me.

Dramatic meant I had noticed something.

Dramatic meant I had asked where the money had gone.

Dramatic meant I had said no.

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